Johnny Test Pornography Story: Investigating 1 Two Three Investigating – Chapter Three
Ohayo New York! Konnichiwa London! Konban wa Tokyo! CJzilla here kickin’ out another chapter! Woo! Now, in this blurb Dukey’s messin’ with Johnny… I’ll leave the rest for you to fill in…
As I toast this city with my radioactive breath, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R! Love me, hate me… I don’t care…
I Hear You Knocking but You Can’t Come In
Dukey stood by the kitchen counter as he watched the coffee pot brew him up one of lifes smooth, heaven-sent drink-wonders that was coffee. The dog sighed happily feeling his tail begin to sway excitedly. What did he ever do before he was gifted with speech, greater thinking ability, literacy and coffee? Oh yeah, pee, eat and sleep. Pretty much that.
After watching the delicious coffee collecting into the pourable container for a long moment, Dukey looked to his left. A horribly entertained smile split the dogs mouth at what he saw.
On the other side of the sliding door was his owner and best friend, Johnny Test, pounding away at the glass. That wasnt the hilariously entertaining part. Johnny was outside in broad daylight, in his underwear. Dukey then remembered why he started a pot of coffee in the first place. He needed something to sip on while he watched Johnny pound on the windows and doors, desperately trying to get back inside the house.
Dukey waltzed over the locked sliding glass door and sat.
What-? I hear you knocking, Johnny but you cant come in! the dog teasingly shouted at the door. I still cant- hear you! Maybe if you open the door, I could hear you!
Dukey! Johnny seethed, his voice clear through the door. You can SO hear me! And listen carefully to me YOURE DEAD! D-E-A–D! YOU HEAR ME?! DEAD! OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!!
It was so relaxingly enjoyable to watch the nearly naked boy jump and down with anger.
Sorry Johnny! I cant! Dukey tried to keep a straight face. I dont have any thumbs! Hey, if I did, this lock would be a snap to open. But I cant. Sorry!
Johnnys face heated with anger as he stood there straight as a board. Dukey was now on his back, laughing. The blond eleven-year-old dashed off to try to get in another way. Dukeys laughter died down to giggles as he whipped his eyes.
Earlier that Sunday Johnny had teased Dukey about not having any thumbs. The boy was right, and even though the four fingered Dukey could get by just fine without thumbs, the teasing still stung. So taking vengeful matters into his own four fingered paws.
While Johnnys family took a trip to the hardware store for various reasons and was out of the house, the eleven-year-old took his annual Sunday shower. As Johnny was all sudsy, Dukey snuck into the bathroom and nabbed all of his clothes minus his unders. Johnny had no choice but to come out of the bathroom in just his undies. Once the boy was out, he made a dash for his room and his other clothes. The dog caught his best friend by surprise and one short ride on a roller-skate out of the second story window later, Johnny landed harmlessly on the repositioned trampoline Dukey had moved below the boys window. Dukey had made sure all of the windows and doors were locked before he unleashed the practically naked eleven-year-old on the unsuspecting Sunday afternoon.
Yes, this was a very elaborate plan, even by Dukeys standards.
Pouring himself a cup of coffee, Dukey trotted around the house trying to get a good view of Johnnys self-esteem taking a hit. He spotted the nearly naked blond outside of the left side of the house. He was trying to use one of the neighbors toddler toys to pry open the locked window. Dukey took a seat in the hall, sipped on his coffee and watched the problem solving gears turn within Johnnys head.
Johnny grunted with frustration as the toddler Big Boy Rake toy busted in half under the bottom of the window. Throwing down plan A, the eleven-year-old darted off to try another window and/or door. Dukey sighed in contentment as he trotted to the next window and wondered how many more plans itll take before Johnny figures out a way in.
Minuets later, Dukey was watching from the second story window as Johnny jimmy-rigged a slingshot using nothing but the rain gutters and the familys garden hose. A twinge of worry hit the dog when he was how far the child stretched that ordinary hose. Hed stretched it like a rubber band and precariously hung the taunt end on one of the lawns sprinklers.
DUKEY! Johnny blasted settling his underwear-clad butt in the base of the garden hose slingshot. Im getting in that house ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!
Since it was a Sunday afternoon, people were busy cramming in as much goofing off as possible before the weekend was over, but that didnt mean they werent bored. People were beginning to curiously shuffle out of their houses to get a look at the crazed spiky-haired boy trying to get into his house. Eyes were fixed on Johnny who was in a garden hose slingshot wearing nothing but underwear and a psycho smile.
Dukey snickered. With any luck, the Porkbelly local news would show up and Johnnys pasty, five-fingered butt would be on everyones TV.
Just then the sprinkler gave way under the strain of the garden hose and Johnnys butt. As Johnny was rocketed through the air, coming to an abrupt and painful splat on the houses paneled wall, the broken sprinkler gushed out a fountain of water into the air.
Dukey laughed so hard he was sure hed wet himself.
Johnny stumbled out into the open front lawn and looked up to the window Dukey was laughing behind. The dog began to see the boys mouth move as he shook a fist at him. Dukey decided to humor the boy and crack open the window.
-flea-bitten, mange-infested, delighting in your own odor, ugly stain-maker! Johnny fumed, getting soaked under the busted sprinkler as he shook a fist.
Dukey let out a loud laugh.
A slingshot? the mutt shouted down at his best-friend. Is that the best you got, Johnny? Very cartoony!
The dog was laughing again.
Dukey the dog, LET ME IN RIGHT NOW!! Johnny seethed, face getting red with anger.
Another mischievous smile split the dogs lips. There was no way hed ever get another totally awesome opportunity to do this again, so Dukey wanted to ride it out as long as possible.
Uh Woof woof and bark bark and all that dog stuff, Dukey mocked.
DUKEY! Johnny fumed, jumping up and down with rage. YOURE GONNA EAT NOTHING BUT ALL FIBER DOG FOOD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! IM GONNA MAKE YOUR LIFE A FESTERING PIT OF MISERY-!!
And then the dog shut the window, not wanting to hear more of the temper tantrum. Watching Johnnys fuming red face and his mouth move a million miles an hour made Dukey guffaw and shoot coffee out of his nose. The boy was doing an angry dance that looked like someone had dropped an electric eel inside those embarrassingly small tighty-whiteys. But that wasnt the best part. The neighbor hood was slowly filing out of their homes to see what the brouhaha was all about.
Dukey was in heaven. Hed just scored one of the biggest prank victories of his life. He should get an award or something or maybe pictures! The mutt ran off to find a camera.
Susan, Mary and their mom and dad had gone to the local hardware store for either scientific supplies, office supplies or homemaker supplies. Theyd left Johnny home and thought the eleven-year-old could hold his own since theyd barely been gone forty-five minuets.
Thanks again dad for buy us all that PBC pipe, Mary chimed from the back seat.
Yes, Susan agreed. It will make our revolutionary all-PBC-pipe rocket all that more history making!
Their dad chuckled happily as he gazed back at his daughter through the rear-view mirror.
Youre welcome! he quipped smiling. Just be sure to keep true to our agreement and NOT send your brother into orbit with that thing.
Susan and Mary let out a humoring chuckle but inwardly moped. Johnny would be the perfect monkey substitute.
But dad, Mary giggled. Johnnys the closest thing we have to a monkey. Cant we give our laboratory monkeys a break and just send Johnny into deep space?
Mom and dad chuckled.
Now Mary, their mother corrected. You are not allowed to joke like that around Johnny. I dont want him to feel he should act like a disobedient monkey.
Well said dear, dad agreed, before he changed the subject. Well, wouldnt you look at all these Sunday afternoon lazy-pants people out on their front lawns. Im sure they have something better to do than look at our house-
Horror suddenly crept onto the mans face as he got a glimpse of what everyone was starring at. There was the Test family house, broken sprinkler spewing water high into the air, stretched out garden hose and a nearly naked Johnny. The crazed kid was inside a wheel barrel in the driveway, blackened with chimney soot and underwear slightly shredded.
Oh my giddy aunt! mom gasped as they came screaming into the driveway.
Jumping out of the car, the parents were horror stricken but Susan and Mary were laughing their heads off.
Johnny-! dad gasped, his voice almost as quiet as a whisper. W-What are you doing out here? And in your underwear?!
Johnny seemed to not notice his family as he jumped out of the wheel barrel, ran to the side of the house, busted off the vine ladder and raced to the front door.
YOUVE HUMILIATED ME AND SHOWED EVERYONE MY FAVORITE UNDIES! Johnny screamed at the house. Now Im coming in the house MEDIEVAL STYLE!!
The eleven-year-old gave a war cry and began charging the front door of his own house. But his dad grabbed the boy before he could do any real damage.
JOHNNY TEST! the man held his child in his arms. What in the name of all things bright an beautiful are you doing?!
Johnny struggled in his fathers arms.
Load the cannons! I shall breach the houses walls before night fall! Johnny proclaimed incoherently, eyes moving in all direction.
I got it! Susan declared, skipped up to her father and brother and gave the eleven-year-old a firm slap to the face.
WHO?! What?! When?! Where?! Why?! Johnny stammered, now knocked out of his crazed state of mind before the pain in his cheek registered. OW!
It seemed that the boy was back to normal and his dad let him down.
Oh, hi guys! he chirped happily. What are you guys doing outside? And why am I feeling a breeze?
Johnny then looked down at his nearly naked body.
Oh yeah, the boy bowed his head. The humiliation.
Jonathan Test! his mother was so shocked and angered that she lost her voice. What happened?
Johnnys bottom lip quivered for a slight second.
Dukey locked me out! he fell to his knees. IN MY UNDERWEAR!
We can see that clearly, his dad rolled his eyes. And we are telling you right now that we dont believe it.
Johnny looked at his father with his mouth open and eyebrows narrowed tightly.
You think Id INTENTIONALLY do this to myself?! Johnny exclaimed, hands in the air as he hopped to his feet. My practically naked behind is in plain view of all in our neighborhood! PEOPLE ARE TAKING PICTURES, DAD!!
You are in serious trouble young man, the man replied slipping off his sweater-vest and putting it over his nearly naked son. Once I get the water shut off and assess the damage, Im gonna spank you so hard itll make your nose bleed!
With that he walked to the front door with his wife. Susan and Mary came to their humiliated brothers side.
Wow, Mary mumbled through her hand, which was clapped over her mouth.
Yeah Johnny. WOW, Susan agreed, hands in the air.
Dukey did it, Johnny mumbled. He locked all the windows and doors-
Johnny! The front door was unlocked! his dad called to him. You could have gotten in at any time! Im gonna tan your hide!
Johnny gritted his teeth, went straight as a board and fumed. Gutsy Dukey then came into sight and greeted the parents like any normal dog would. Both mother and father patted the dog and disappeared. Dukey stood at the threshold of the door, smiled a Cheshire cat smile and turned back into the house.
I am gonna KILL that dog, the blond seethed quietly.
Susan and Mary patted a clean portion of Johnnys back.
Cmon Naked Boy, lets get you into the house so that you can shower again, Mary tried her best to hold in a loud, gut-busting laugh.
R&R! LONG LIVE ROCK! And Domo Arigato to “anon” for the reviews…